MESSY GRACE - by Caleb Kaltenbach (2015)

"When we as Christians have an us-versus-them mentality, it creates a mind-set that one side is right and "those people" on the other side are our enemies."

This book provoked a lot of strong feelings, to the point, I almost didn't want to finish it. I went in with some great hope on this sensitive subject and while I truly thought it was going to go one way (ahem, MY way) it was a struggle to get past where Caleb Kaltenbach really stands.

Kaltenbach had the rare, yet unique childhood of being raised by gay parents. He had two moms - his mother came out early on and formed a long-term partnership with another woman, while his father didn't come out until much later. He went to Pride parades and Marches with his moms starting at a young age. He saw, remorsefully how truly awful certain type of  Christians could be, first hand, to his parents. I must say, I was intrigued how he found his life path (and in his teens no less) to not only become a Christian himself, but a Pastor! 

As I was reading, I was thinking, "Maybe he became one to set a positive example for loving and accepting gays...and while, yes, his heart is there and he has a beautiful way to open that door for extremely conservative Christians...I was heartbroken when I came to the chapter, that he did find homosexuality...still a sin. Because the Bible says so.

Where the anger really hit for me was when he (unsuccessfully in my opinion) was trying to give options for how gays should handle their "sinful" love lives.
Chapter 9- Another Way.
Kaltenbach's solutions?
1. Celibacy ( So, wait, be gay but don't share intimacy with someone you love? Deny yourself a loving and true connection with someone else?)
 Or
2. Redemption of Marriage. This one really got me.  Kaltenbach basically is encouraging living a lie of a marriage and with a woman, who yes, is aware you are gay and is okay with it....maybe that might work for a select view...but I think that would be a far worse sin (and major emotional and mental damage down the line) to live a lie (and with another) than two same sex people being in love and honest and open about it.

I believe I threw the book across the room at this point.

I will get personal for a second, I don't relate to the word Christian. Won't feel comfortable calling myself one, and I am a quite sadden and embarrassed about that. But THIS is the reason.
Christians get such a bad wrap, because, well a lot of them DO fit that judge-y stereo-type, superior to all mentality, and do and say a lot of things I don't agree with. Yet, I am a faithful church go-er. I go to church Every Sunday, and not only that, but I am one of the Youth Volunteers at my church and work part-time as an assistant for one of our Leaders and do the church's Social Media, plus, I am enrolled in my church's Mentor for Women program. I am truly not out to get anyone or have an agenda...and thankful to be part of a Faith-based community that is more progressive and compassionate.

This did make me take a moment and reflect on my personal faith and my relationship with the Bible. Also, made me deeply wonder if Kaltenbach might be dealing with a certain rebellion on his part. Maybe there is some repressed hurt or anger that hasn't healed to being exposed to all that ( Pride Parades, Marches) at so young an age?
Some kids rebel with drugs, sex in their teens...Caleb? He finds religion. Which honestly, should Not be a bad thing at all. But it does spark to be an odd choice to go to the very thing your parents have been shunned by.....hmmm...

Long blog short, I am glad I finished the book. And I will give credit to Kaltenbach wrapping it up compassionately, lovingly, and Godly with his "A Final Word".  You are right, Caleb, I do disagree with some of the things you said. Yet, I must acknowledge that you are doing the very best to find a way to keep it loving and open and still hold true to your faith. I do wonder what conservatives may say and what their reaction will be. Clearly, they might be angry for the complete opposite of what I was for.
He does wrap it up confessing that he is still on this journey with his parents...so we shall see.
Meanwhile,  me, Miss Church go-er over here? Will still stand proudly with my beautiful gay friends and support their openly and loving relationships. Why? Because I believe that is what Jesus would do. If I am "wrong", I will always choose to error on the side of love and acceptance. Jesus taught me that.

*And hey, the Bible has said A LOT of things that we don't acknowledge or practice anymore because it IS dated and unethical. (Anyone want to stone people again or sacrifice innocent animals... or, Ladies, be considered property and have to cover up completely? No? Yeah...I didn't think so...)